Tips for Avoiding Self-Defeating Thoughts
by Deborah Kintner
All too often, people obstruct their own paths to success through self-defeating and self-sabotaging thoughts, attitudes, and actions. The following represent some of the most common thoughts people have that impede their abilities and motivations to take steps toward success.

1. "It would be terrible to be rejected or to have others disapprove of what I say or do." - The truth is that no matter what a person does, there is the possibility of disapproval from others. Consequently, you might as well take steps which will bring you closer to what you are wanting in life, rather than living for the approval of others.

2. "If someone criticizes me, it means there is something wrong with me." - The criticism of another person simply means that they think differently from you. Different does not mean wrong. Continue to do what is right according to your own standards, not those of another.

3. "Other people are to blame for my problems." - Even though it is important to acknowledge that the actions of others affect you and vice versa, you remain responsible for your own actions. What you do is up to you, not someone else."

4. "My worthiness depends on my achievements (or other specific measure)." - A person's worthiness is not measured by a specific set of accomplishments. Rather it arises from one's basic humanness and uniqueness.

5. "If I am too successful, people will expect too much of me and I will eventually disappoint them." - This arises from the belief that success is a specific destination, rather than the journey to get there. Remind yourself that the real difference between winners and losers is not whether a person fails. The real difference comes from being able to get up and start again. As long as you are taking steps toward your goal, you are on the journey to success.

About the author: Deborah Kintner